Approval or Rejection#

I still remember how it felt when I was younger: wanting so badly to correct a teacher, a senior, or even my own parents. Sometimes it was just a small mistake, a flawed logic, or an opinion that felt unfair. But the moment I opened my mouth, what I received wasn’t dialogue — it was a wall. Words like: “I know better than you.” And instantly, I felt small.

In our culture, respect is tied to silence. Nodding is seen as obedience. Speaking out to someone older is often labeled as rude. Yet many times, I wasn’t trying to rebel — I just wanted to clarify. Still, the fear was real: fear of being judged as insolent, fear of being dismissed, fear of being told I didn’t know my place.

A Personal Memory#

I once tried to correct my father. It was about something simple — how to use a device at home more efficiently. I explained carefully, thinking he would appreciate the tip. But his response was sharp: “Enough, don’t talk too much. I know better than you.”

I froze. Frustrated, yes. But also doubtful. Was I wrong for speaking? Or was he wrong for shutting me down? That moment taught me that speaking to someone stubborn carries risk. Sometimes rejection isn’t about being right or wrong — it’s about pride.

The Roots of Politeness#

I understand where it comes from. Respecting elders is a symbol of honor in our culture. It preserves harmony, it maintains hierarchy. But sometimes politeness becomes a cage. We’re taught to hold back words, even when those words are true. We fear our voices will be branded as disrespect.

Handling the Discomfort#

I’ve tried to find ways to navigate this without always surrendering:

• Choosing softer words instead of sharp ones.
• Offering feedback with humility, not challenge.
• Waiting for the right moment, instead of cutting through ego.

It doesn’t always work. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. But at least I’m no longer completely silent. Because silence too long only breeds envy — envy of those who live freely, who speak without fear.

When Things Get Heated#

There are times when the situation escalates — when elders get angry, when their stubbornness hardens into rage. In those moments, I’ve learned it’s not about winning the argument. It’s about protecting the relationship and keeping communication alive.

• Stay calm: matching their anger only fuels the fire.
• Step back: sometimes silence is not surrender, but strategy — letting emotions cool before trying again.
• Reframe later: bring the topic back gently when the mood is softer, when pride has loosened its grip.
• Hold your ground quietly: you don’t have to shout to stand firm; sometimes dignity is in restraint.
• Be patient: sometimes the best way to handle a heated situation is to wait it out, letting the other person cool down before addressing the issue again.
• Be understanding: sometimes the other person is just venting, and they need someone to listen without judgment.
• Be empathetic: sometimes the other person is just venting, and they need someone to listen without judgment.

It’s uncomfortable, yes. But I’ve realized that handling heated moments with patience doesn’t mean I’ve lost. It means I’ve chosen a wiser path to keep the door open for dialogue.

Why Elders Resist#

Maybe it’s because they grew up in a time when experience was everything. To them, youth means “unfinished,” “unproven.” They believe age automatically equals wisdom. And so, our words are often dismissed.

But I believe differently: experience matters, yes, but it’s not the only source of truth. Young minds can be sharp, fresh, and bring new perspectives. Closing ears only widens the gap between generations.

Reflection#

I write this not to blame the older generation, but to admit the fear I’ve carried. Fear of speaking out. Fear of being branded rude. Fear of being belittled.

Yet I also believe there’s a middle path: the courage to speak with respect. We don’t have to surrender, but we don’t have to fight harshly either. We can choose words, choose timing, choose tone.

Because in the end, the voices of the young deserve to be heard too.

“Patience in heated moments is not defeat — it’s the choice to keep dialogue alive.”